This book explains from four perspectives: "identification, sense of security, attention, and acceptance". Parents who can "identify" themselves know how to confirm themselves and no longer rely on external recognition. Their appreciation and affirmation of their children is natural, rather than a learned way of encouraging or comforting their children. Parents with a good sense of security have a clear sense of boundaries and support their children to make their own decisions. They will not feel guilty for saying "no" to their children, nor will they be angry when their children say "no" to them. Parents who know how to "attention" will not always put their children first. They live a colorful life themselves, and at the same time naturally care about their children's feelings and wishes. Children are also full of energy and enthusiasm in this atmosphere.
本书从“认同、安全感、重视、接纳”四个角度阐述。能够“认同”自己的父母，他们懂得自我确认，不再依赖外在认可，他们对孩子的欣赏和肯定出于自然，而非学来的某种鼓励或者安慰孩子的方式；安全感好的父母，有清晰的界限感，更支持孩子对自己做主，不会因为对孩子说“不”而内疚，也不会因孩子对自己说“不”而恼怒；懂得“重视”的父母，不会总把孩子放在优先地位，他们自己活得有声有色，同时很自然地在意孩子的感受和意愿，孩子也在这种氛围中充满活力和热情。
本书从“认同、安全感、重视、接纳”四个角度阐述。能够“认同”自己的父母，他们懂得自我确认，不再依赖外在认可，他们对孩子的欣赏和肯定出于自然，而非学来的某种鼓励或者安慰孩子的方式；安全感好的父母，有清晰的界限感，更支持孩子对自己做主，不会因为对孩子说“不”而内疚，也不会因孩子对自己说“不”而恼怒；懂得“重视”的父母，不会总把孩子放在优先地位，他们自己活得有声有色，同时很自然地在意孩子的感受和意愿，孩子也在这种氛围中充满活力和热情。
